Category: Take a Break

Learning to walk with patience…What is meant will be…

Throughout my life I have found that I was always in a rush to do things before God intended for it to be done. With this comes the onset of stress, anxiety, and worry. All three of these negatives can take a physical toll on a person and affect their way of life. Patience has always been one thing I lacked because being ahead made me feel as if I was accomplishing something. For this reason, I have never really taken a true break. I skipped a grade when I was five and have been skipping ahead in life ever since. When you go through your life this way the possibility of meeting disappointment becomes increased.

See the source imageI had this special plan for my life that included being married by 21, and my first child by 23 with three more to follow each two years apart so I would be done by 29. Me and my husband would buy our first house by 23 and by 35 we would be on an island somewhere enjoying the start of our early retirement. Sounds perfect right? Well, the thing is nothing in life ever happens the way that we plan it out. What I had to learn was that the plan for my life has already been laid out and my job was just to follow that plan as it is instead of trying to make endorsements. Every choice we make, every person we meet, every evolution within our lives happens for a reason. God is just waiting for you to figure out that he is the one in control not you. We feel like we are in control because we are making the choices but subconsciously we are only doing what was already in the plan.

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See as I got older, I found myself getting more and more frustrated that the plan I had set was not going the way I had planned out. At 21, I was not married, although I did have my first child by 23.  Seven years shy of 35, I am nowhere close to that early retirement on an island somewhere and well lets just say my child does not have two other siblings each two years apart from him. What I had to learn was that although I thought those were the perfect times in my life, there was actually a different plan set for my life. Too often I see female friends forcing relationships because they are in a rush to be married or male friends making choices based off what they think they should be doing right now instead of letting life happen as it should. I watched a friend of mine go from guy to guy trying to make something out of each one just to by chance meet the perfect guy who it was clear she met when she was supposed to meet him.

My sister once said the mistake that people make is they pray to God to make things happen for them as opposed to asking God to guide their steps in the direction to make the thing they want happen. God does not just give you things when you ask for them and this is key information when walking through life. At 27, I have learned to walk in my faith and trust that God will lead my steps and bless me when the time is right. Your journey is your journey only, no one else. There is no perfect time to do anything and no guidebook that says you have to complete certain life milestones by a certain time. The thing is sometimes it takes a few of us longer to realize this but that is ok because you realized it at your time. Patience is a key and good things really do come to those who wait for them to happen when it is right. You have to remain positive and know that your blessing will come when it is least expected. Things may be hard or seem frustrating but you cannot let that remove your faith that life will work itself out.

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Open letter to an overwhelmed mommy…

Image result for overwhelmed mom memeDear overwhelmed mommies,

Let me start by saying that when God made women he knew exactly what he was doing. There is nothing that God does that he does not do with purpose. Women are given the job of carrying a baby for 10 months (not 9) and from the day that embryo is implanted life as we know it changes. This life controls what you eat, what you drink, how long you sleep, and every move you make from that day forward. There are some nights that sleep is just out of the question and I am not just referring to the infant stage. This goes on even as they grow. I can remember being an adult and my mother sat up all night in an emergency room with me even though she had work in the morning. Those beginning stages of waking up every 2-3 hours, constant crying, and non-verbal cues you are still trying to decipher set us up for what comes later in life. The thing is being a mommy does not mean that life around you stops. Food still has to be cooked, laundry done, work completed, homework if you are in school, house cleaned, etc. I cannot count on one hand how many times I heard a friend complain that she was not even sure how to squeeze in taking a shower. When you are not a mommy you laugh and you tell them stop complaining. When you become a mommy you stop laughing at their complaints because they become your own. Your whole day is built on a routine centered around this life you have. The crazy part is, I only have one. You mommies with multiples are the true epitome of strength. It takes a lot of energy as well as balance to be able to work full time and be full time mom. If you are like me and have to find time to do homework in between all that then you will realize why I titled this overwhelmed mom. My day is filled with running around, cleaning up the same room 3-4 times, trying to decide what we should eat and hoping that Jayden will eat it and not dump it on the floor, trying to make meetings, making sure bills are taken care of, keeping up with my homework assignments, and making sure I spend quality time with my son and not just stick him in a room with a tv and some toys. I do laundry daily and by time I fold it, it is in a messy pile on the floor from him playing in it. We prioritize our time and some of us mommies even schedule everything out in the hopes that things run smooth but then life happens. They spill something on their clothes just as you are ready to walk out the door. You get ready to leave and realize that you sat your keys down somewhere and it is a possibility your child touched them and hid them. You mop your entire kitchen just to come back an hour later and find your child sitting in a pile of animal crackers. You drive all the way to the school just to get there and realize you left the exact paper you drove here to turn in on the table because you got sidetracked when your child pooped after you had finished getting him dressed. You make breakfast for your child and maybe you have a snack bar or some fruit, potentially pick something up on the way. Every morning I am describing I have had. I have combed my hair in the car and even taken my son to a majority of my meetings. Mommies with older kids have sports and recitals and dance classes to get too. Let me not forget the husband or boyfriend who basically serves as another child looking for attention (not all but a good majority). Then you have the days where it seems like nothing you do works and your child is upset at the world and sitting down is not an option. I remember once I sat on the couch for a second and all I felt was Jayden tugging my arm because he did not want me to lay down. I was exhausted but he wanted to go in the kitchen for a snack. Then after getting his snack and attempting to lay back down, there he was again tugging because he needed to potty and then tugging again because he had hit mute on the remote and could not figure out how to get the volume back and then tugging again because his snack was gone. Finally, I just got up and said forget it let’s go for a walk outside. My thought process was that I would use Jayden’s nap time to get work done. Yeaaaaaaa, NO! If Jayden takes a nap then mommy takes a nap.

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The truth is when the day is over and we have eaten, Jayden has taken a bath, has pj’s on, and prayers have been said, my most peaceful moment of my day is when he cuddles up to me at night. Everything that could have went wrong in that day is ok because we got through it in one piece. Mommy may have been frustrated or even caught a headache. There is a possibility I screamed in the bathroom really loudly or wished I had a strong margarita in hand. However, if baby boy is good then mommy is good. Sometimes it is true, I feel overwhelmed as if I am trying to do too many things at one time. Then I remember God made women for a reason. He knew how strong we could be and the battles we could endure. God would not place on me and burden he did not feel I could handle on my own.

No mommy is perfect and that is ok. Mommies make mistakes, they lose things, they forget things, and they just want to cry sometimes because it helps. On the other side that mommy is doing the best she can the best way she knows how and every move she makes is motivated by that life she is responsible for. We all get overwhelmed with life sometimes and the key is to remember that it is ok to stop sometimes, breathe, and relax. Life will not end and you will not automatically be thrown into the bad mommy category. I would not change anything about my life with my son because he keeps me on my toes. He makes me question if I have everything together. So, from one overwhelmed mommy to another try not to worry because that smile from your child at the end of the will always make things better.

Take Care!