Growing up, I was the only child for the first five years of my life. Who knew that only three months after turning five, the 100% attention I had become accustomed to having would now be split with another human other than myself. Being the oldest, I often wonder if this is now how my son feels having a little sister in the house. For over four years, my baby had both of his parents all to himself. This meant unlimited cuddles, a lot of spoilage, and constant attention. If anything, it was he who was splitting his attention between myself and his dad. Then along came this new baby in the house who required constant attention for feeding, changing, and putting to sleep. Every two hours she was making it known she was the new baby in the house. I could see that my son was slowly growing impatient when he would ask for things and be told, “wait, I am feeding your sister.” He was not used to this kind of response from me. t
The great thing for me was that I already had experience in what he was feeling so it was easy for me to catch onto the signs. Now don’t get me wrong, Jay is wonderful with his sister, very attentive, and always so eager to help. The thing is, when he wants hugs or cuddles from mommy, it can be frustrating when there is this little human hogging her all the time.
One thing I had to learn for myself as now mom of two, was balance is the key to everything. You have to balance being a mother to not one but two kids, who equally are deserving or your love and affection. It is important that the older child not feel forgotten or neglected. It is also important to ensure that new baby is properly tended to at all times as well. I found what worked for me was to include Jay in the care of his sister so that they equally received my time and he felt included. I would pump a bottle so he could feed her, ask him to get her pampers and wipes, or just sit and sing to her for a few moments. One routine that greatly changed for us was bedtime, so a few nights a week I take Jurni in Jays room and we get in his bed until he falls asleep. For store runs, I found that Jay felt special when I would take him with me and leave Jurni with her dad, because this was mommy and Jay time.
Being a mom of two has taught me more patience and allowed me to play with my creativity when it comes to picking activities around the house. These moments of bonding are not only important for the parent/child relationship but also for the bond that is starting to form between Jayden and Jurni as brother and sister. While it can be exhausting and even sometimes frustrating, the result is always the most rewarding.